Black And White Thinking

Black-and-white thinking, also known as "all or nothing," binary, or dichotomous thinking, is a common cognitive pattern that can be frustrating to navigate. A quick Google search reveals its associations with narcissism, ADHD, trauma, personality disorders, and more. What's particularly disappointing is how prevalent this thinking is in our world regularly, not just with the above mental health associations.

America Ferrera's speech in the Barbie movie comes to mind, as it highlights this issue. She speaks truths about the societal pressure to fit into narrow categories, where you're expected to be either A or B, but never both.

"...You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead but can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people." 

The concept of coexisting truths is crucial. Coexisting means peacefully existing at the same time and place. It suggests that two seemingly opposing truths can both be valid. This concept has been a significant focus in my therapy journey, where I've been working on challenging my black-and-white thinking.

While my brain tends to default to black-and-white thinking due to anxiety, depression, and OCD, I strive to live in the gray area. I often find myself able to see and understand both sides of an issue, perhaps due to my tendency to overthink and overanalyze. For example, I struggled to hold space for my childhood trauma, which wasn't the "big T" kind but rather the accumulation of "little t" events. As a very emotional child, I sometimes felt that my emotions weren't handled as I needed them to be, despite my parents' best efforts. It took time for me to realize that I could hold space for both truths: my parents are amazing and did their best, AND my emotional needs weren't always met as a child.

I've observed similar black-and-white thinking on social media, and that's probably why I’ve grown to be so annoyed with it. Recently, one of my favorite influencers shared her health journey, including how she was able to get off antidepressants. Someone immediately asked if she was against antidepressants. This reaction reflects the common misunderstanding that coexisting truths are possible. Yes, she embraces holistic health practices, and yes, she believes in the value of antidepressants. These are not mutually exclusive beliefs.

This kind of thinking extends beyond personal health to political and religious beliefs. Despite the potential controversy, I believe it's possible to hold seemingly contradictory beliefs simultaneously. For instance, I personally believe that abortion is wrong because I consider it to be the taking of an unborn child's life. However (don’t come for me…but) I also believe that women should have the right to choose what to do with their bodies. It is between that woman and God that peace, forgiveness, and repentance can be found. It's a perspective that acknowledges the complexity of these issues and the need for compassion and understanding.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God; they are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:23-24 reminds us that we all fall short and are justified by grace because of Jesus.

Black-and-white thinking can be common even in lighter examples, like eating cake on your birthday. Many people avoid eating cake because they label it "bad." Yet cake is a symbol of celebration and joy. It's not something we eat daily but a special treat reserved for special occasions. Yet so many say “no” because they have such a negative connotation with cake. 

My therapist and I recently discussed this topic, and she noted how common black-and-white thinking is in our society. Many people feel pressured to take sides, categorize people as good or bad, or believe they must adhere strictly to one set of beliefs. Breaking this pattern is challenging, but recognizing it is the first step toward a more empathetic worldview, which is what our world needs. 

Many individuals tend to see the world in black and white, insisting that one must choose one side or the other. However, this perspective often overlooks the intricacies of life. While choices are straightforward in some situations, much of life is multifaceted. It's not solely about being Democrat or Republican, good or bad, healthy or unhealthy, strong or weak, all or nothing, black or white. Life's complexities defy such simplistic categorizations.

More articles on Black-and-White Thinking:

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/black-and-white-thinking

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/personality-disorders/how-black-and-white-thinking-affects-you/