Turning 30: Flirty, Kinda Thriving, and Still Figuring It Out

I turn 30 in just six days, and honestly, it’s blowing my mind. How the heck am I already 30? Some days, I feel exactly my age; others, I feel like I’ll forever be 23; sometimes, I swear I’m 47. I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I’m entering a new decade.

Where does the time go? Wasn’t I just a child running around the playground without a care in the world? Wasn’t I just in high school with all my sweet friends, soaking up every moment? College? Post-college? It all went by in a blur. Time moves so fast, and it makes me sad in a bittersweet way—knowing that we only have so much of it here on Earth.

Turning 30 is a milestone, and if I’m being honest, I think this might be the best decade yet. My 20s felt like a whirlwind of uncertainty. They were complex, challenging, and filled with so much figuring things out—who I am, who I was created to be, what I want to do, and where God is leading me. But there was also a lot of good— a lot of growth. There were a lot of moments that shaped me.

And even now, I definitely don’t have it all figured out—not even close—but that brings me comfort. I don’t think we’re meant to have it all figured out.

I think this birthday is hitting me harder because I’m truly leaving a decade behind and stepping into something entirely new. And that’s difficult when there are parts of my 20s—people, memories, moments—that will never follow me into my 30s. I don’t know if anyone else thinks that way, but leave it to me to spiral down the deep-thinking rabbit hole. My brain is constantly processing everything so deeply, and I can’t even tell you how many tears I’ve already shed over it.

Saying goodbye to my 20s feels a bit like a death. I’m letting go of past versions of myself—versions that no longer serve me or the future I want for my life. And while there’s beauty in stepping forward, there’s also grief in leaving behind what once was.

Turning 30 has also made me reflect on a somber reality: a lot of what I had hoped for as a young girl hasn’t happened. I thought by now I’d be sharing life with a husband, maybe have a kid or two, and own my own house—things I always envisioned for myself. But I don’t have any of that. So, in a way, I’m also grieving the life I thought I’d have in my 20s because it turned out to be nothing like I had imagined.

That’s not to say it was all bad. Like I said, so much good has happened even in the midst of the hard and tragic moments. I know that’s just life—this strange mix of joy and sorrow. But something about standing on the doorstep of a new decade while the last one slips quietly out the back door really makes you sit and reflect.

I try not to focus on what I don’t have, but it isn’t easy sometimes. The funny thing is, things are happening in my life now that I never could have pictured. I never saw them coming, and yet, here they are. I hope to focus on that more this next decade—to shift my perspective from lack to abundance because abundance is always present in the Lord’s presence.

I am a completely different person than I was 3, 5, or 10 years ago. And yet, there are parts of me that remain unchanged. Meeting new people is always interesting because they have no idea who I used to be, what I’ve walked through, or what has shaped me. It’s wild to think about. Can we switch if your brain doesn’t go down these deep, existential rabbit holes? Because mine never stops.

I know I need to ease up on the overthinking, though. It really is a gift—when I don’t let it take me down an anxiety spiral.

Time is such a mystery to me—how we grow, evolve, and change, especially as followers of Christ. When you ask to be refined, renewed, and more like Jesus, the process is constant. Even though stepping into this new decade feels overwhelming in some ways, I’m also excited. I am excited about what my 30s will bring, the people I will meet, and how God will continue showing up in my life—shaping and refining me.

I can’t believe I ever called 30 old… because, honestly, I’m just getting started. Life is far from perfect and never will be, but my footing feels a little firmer. My identity and purpose are more evident.

Sometimes, I wish 30-year-old Brooke could sit down with 20-year-old Brooke. Because, man, she stressed over things that didn’t matter. But more than that, I wish 30-year-old me could go back to 4-to-7-year-old me, scoop her up, and tell her this:

No matter what happens—the good, the bad, the hard, the fun—God is with you. Always. Seek Him, give Him your heart, and trust He has a plan.

The things of this world won’t satisfy you because this isn’t your home. Heaven is. And that deep feeling in your heart—that longing? You’ll feel it your whole life, but it’s a gift, not a burden. You were created to love people, to be loved, and to help others find Jesus. That’s your purpose. Don’t overcomplicate it. Don’t believe you must “do it all” to have meaning—God has already given you meaning.

Be kind to yourself. Speak life over yourself. You are the one person you will be with forever, so love yourself. Take care of yourself. Don’t let the opinions of others shape you unless they’re in step with God’s truth.

You are loved. You are beautiful. You are safe. You are strong.

You are a child of God—always.

Here’s to 30!

Looking back at photos from my childhood, I can’t help but get emotional. That little girl had no idea what was ahead of her. But you know who did? God.

So, here’s to my 30s.

To the little girl in the photo—I don’t think we ever could have imagined the things we would walk through, but look at you. Look at us. We’re still here. And there’s still a beautiful plan for our life.

Let’s do this. New decade—here we come.