Overcoming Negative Body Image

I've always struggled with body image. It's definitely a multi-faceted issue that has many layers to it. It honestly makes me sad and frustrated with how body image affects most women. If you think about it, I feel like that's all most people talk about: our bodies and how they look. 

We comment on people's weight, body, hair, and make-up; everything is about the outer appearance, maybe because that's what we see. But there is so much more to us than our bodies, and I want women to stop putting so much worth into their bodies, and I'm calling myself out with this, too. I envision a future generation of women who love themselves and care for their bodies but know there is so much more to them than their looks. 

I've struggled with body image since around seven years old when I was in first grade, and I noticed that I was bigger than most of the girls in my class. I don't think I paid too much attention to it then, but obviously, I had the thought which stuck with me and was reinforced for many years after that. In middle school, I was larger than most of my friends, my face was more round, and my hair was cut short - the awkward years hit hard. In junior high, I remember shopping with my friends and continuously comparing myself to them because I always had a more challenging time finding clothes that fit me, and they were buying smalls and mediums while I was in the large and extra-large. 

Of course, in junior high, I was more interested in boys, and one of the boys I liked didn't want to go out with me because I was fat. That'll surely scar you, and that message sticks with you, whether you want it to or not. In high school, I still didn't have a very high self-esteem, constantly comparing myself to my friends. I hated the way my body looked and the size I was, and I continually talked negatively about my body. 

Fast forward to college, I started to gain weight for several reasons. Even though I saw the changes in my body, I didn't do anything about it; I just drank to not feel my emotions about my body and everything else I was dealing with. A year after college, I lost Austin to suicide, and after that traumatic experience, my body gained more weight, and then I found out that I have an autoimmune condition called Hashimotos. About a year and a half after that, I started working out more and taking my nutrition more seriously. 

I started working with a nutritionist, attended Camp Gladiator boot camps, and lost some weight. I looked into more information regarding birth control, weight gain, emotions, and so much more, took a few things into consideration, and started to lose more weight. Overall, I've lost about 65 pounds and have managed to keep it off… and I still have a hard time some days looking in the mirror at my body. Some days, I can tell the difference in my body; other days, I still feel like I look my heaviest. 

I'm sorry that it was so long, but I felt it was good to have some content on my background and relationship with my body. Looking back, it makes me sad how long I've hated my body, and I wish I could give my younger self a big hug and tell her how much she needs to choose to love herself no matter what, even when her weight fluctuates. As a woman, it is normal for weight to fluctuate between 5-10 pounds, and I wish it was talked about more. 

It makes me sad by how many women say:

"I'm fat." 

"I hate this part of my body." 

"If only I looked like her, I'd be happy." 

"I wish I was skinny." 

"I need to get back to pre-baby weight." 

The list goes on and on. I have good news, though. Our bodies are good, and God actually calls them good. Do you know why? Because He made them! 

"And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good." - Genesis 1:31

This definitely doesn't mean that we should abuse our bodies and not take care of them, but we are called to steward our bodies well. This means our minds, too. If we are constantly, as women, comparing ourselves to others, how is that good? Or even if we compare ourselves to how we looked in high school, college, or before babies… I don't think that is what God wants for us. 

It's hard for me to look in the mirror most days. It's easy for me to pick out everything that's wrong with my body—the pimple on my cheek, my forehead wrinkles, my arms from the side view, my stomach that isn't very flat, my jiggly thighs… but I've been trying to think, when I start going down that road, is that what God would look at? 

"But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." - 1 Samuel 16:7

"For the Lord sees not as man sees."

"But, the Lord looks on the heart." 

Whew. That is a word, y'all. So good! I've been trying to remind myself of this verse when my mind wants to start picking myself apart. God sees you. Not your body, not your thighs touching, not your imperfect skin, or your waistline. He sees your heart, the most important part of you. 

I want to encourage women to release the idolatry of our bodies. I know that it is challenging in this culture and with social media, but that's even more of the reason to release it and not let our minds be chained to the toxicity of obsessing over our bodies. We're called to be different when we are followers of Christ; we're called not to be of this world. I am doing my best to throw off the burden of negative body image. Still, it's not easy, yet hating my body and thinking of it negatively is harder. 

I challenge you to love your body.

I challenge you to throw off the idol of body image. 

I challenge you to speak kindly to yourself. 

I challenge you to remember what matters, your heart. 

I challenge you to know that God looks at you with loving eyes, He made you in His image. 

I'm in this challenge, too. It may be something I wrestle with for all of my life, but I am doing my best to change it and release it to God. I hope you will, too.

I highly recommend “Breaking Free from Body Shame: Dare to Reclaim What God Has Named Good” - by Jess Connolly, buy it on Amazon.